1986 Jaguar XJ6

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This is on the side of the road in Pinckney, Michigan so I decided to stop and ignore thoughts of repair bills. Sure, I could drive around in relative luxury, it only has 105K miles, have other people admire the hood ornament and nice paint color. Some folks might even think it drives incredibly well and cost twenty or thirty grand.

Boy that Paul must be doing alright, he’s driving a Jag-ware, I’d think as I approach. Then slithering up slowly beside my neighbors with window down I’d say in my most pretentious, ass-flinging voice “just heading down to the club in my Jag-U-ar. Anybody need a lift?” Didn’t think so chumps. Step on the gas, hit them up with a cloud of smoke and dollop of oil.

In the faint distance I overhear their jealously:

“Wasn’t that car on the side of the road for $4 grand?” says neighbor one.

“Yeah but the guy couldn’t sell it and dropped the price. Then Paul came along.” neighbor number two.

“That guy will buy anything.”

“Chump.” in unison.

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