How to Properly Market The "Mom Mobile" to Dudes

posted in: Online Around the Net | 1

Look, I’m no marketing genius as far as you know, but it seems to me nobody wants to drive a minivan, they have to drive one. That’s a problem if you’re trying to advertise them. Yet, we always see the same family hauling, soccer car pooling, seat rearrangin’ ads. Save Honda that does offer “respect the van”. Why haven’t the others learned from generation X,Y & Z that if you want to sell something, market it with parties and half naked bodies?

Please visualize you’re watching a commercial taking place in an urban setting. As we move up the front steps of a classic house and inside, the voice over of a deep beer drinking man from the Miller Highlife commercials, says in his monotone register:

Announcer:
Your wife is having some friends over tonight to play a little Bikini Bunko… you get a free pass to the man cave for the evening.

It’s been a while since you’ve had the chance to invite the guys over, so you waste no time setting up the Euchre foursome.

Fade in: Inside of minivan

Announcer: Let see… leather chairs, a good table, surround sound and the flat panel TVs. Two of them, so no one has to look over a shoulder to see Talladega Nights.

Quick flash to the movie on screen:
“Why do you want to watch TV and listen to the stereo at the same time?” Ricky Bobby.
“Cause I like to party.” Cal Naughton Jr.

Ahh… but then… the wife comes in. Trouble brewing upstairs with the kids. No problem, lock the doors, put it into reverse and park over at Jim’s house.

Good thing the fishing pools are still inside and the seats fold into a bed, you’re going to need to catch a meal and some shuteye before this one is all over.

Tagline:
“The Chrysler Town & Country minivan. Drive away from the family to enjoy life for a while.”

  1. EMPM, Esq

    Totally agree with you on this one, Groosh. They need to market them as more, “bring your friends and good times along,” as opposed to the “be your kids’ chauffer” angle that they take now-a-days.

    My brother’s minivan that he had for a brief period in high school was one of the best all around vehicles he could have had at that time. The SIV (Sexual Intercourse Vehicle) was everything an 18 year old could need, a bedroom and a living room all in one… with a stickshift and a fairly aggressive suspension (for a minivan). My parents probably would not have been too happy with the goings on in the SIV, but for him it was a rolling good time. If they could figure out how to market that, but to adults that could actually afford to buy one, I think we would see a surge in minivan sales. Think about it, we could have the same van culture that was so prolific in the late 70s/early 80s, only on a smaller, more economical scale.

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