Why Only Morons Use Crosswalks

posted in: Online Around the Net | 2

The street directly outside our subdivision has a posted 40 mph speed limit.  That means the kid who just got his MAZDA SPEED3 takes the corner at about 55.  That is until he sees me pulling an “old man” on him yelling “Slow down, don’t you see we’ve got kids here?”  I use a little extra emphasis by waving my arm and giving him a really dirty look.  Oh it’s mean… what you want to see it??  It’s enough to get him to pull his foot off the gas and coast it down to 45.  Well done chump.

Since I’m tired of being the grandpa police, I decided to use my considerable writing skills to slide a letter to our city council.


Dear Guys on the Hill,

The corner between here and there next to my house is a death trap.  I’m just waiting for someone to come speeding around the corner as people cross to the park and blamo.  You need to slow down the speed limit or put in some crosswalks.

Dear Old Man,

Move your fat ass into second gear when you cross the street and it shouldn’t be a problem.

They actually wrote back and said that their studies show that crosswalks actually INCREASE the amount of pedestrian accidents and therefore they do not recommend putting them in.  What research?  Really?

While I was taking part in the Aliso Viejo Leadership Academy (I volunteer at our city), I brought up this point again.  I was fully expecting to hear that crosswalks are dangerous because people drive erratically around them.  Maybe they slow down abruptly forcing rear end collisions or someone stops but the opposing traffic doesn’t see the walker and slams them.  I didn’t know, but I blamed it on the drivers immediately.

Walkers are to blame.  Those big white lines turn out to be some sort of safe haven for people.  They don’t even consider speed of opposing cars, timing or safety.  They simply walk out into the street thinking they are protected.  It ends up creating more problems and accidents.  Now mind you, I live on a sweeping curved road with no intersections.  This might not hold true for a busy street corners and what not.  But to think, all those bums and homeless people had it right all along.  And here I was chastising them for being half out of the bag walking through traffic.

2 Responses

  1. earned911

    I heard a similar story in Michigan. Where if you shovel your driveway, and connecting sidewalk, and somebody slips and falls, you may become liable for the slip and fall. They say it’s due to the exposed ice created from the melting and re-freezing of smaller amounts of snow left behind from shoveling…
    BUT if you don’t shovel at all, and someone slips, you aren’t liable…

    We have the great lawyers, looking to make payments on their fancy “Wish-I-Wassa” Sports Car, to thank for this.

  2. EMPM, Esq.

    I can see how a crosswalk would increase pedestrian – vehicle accidents. I have been guilty of the “I’m in a safe territory so you can’t hit me” way of thinking when I have crossed in a crosswalk before. Unfortunately, drivers don’t see it the same way. This isn’t a liability issue, because in most instances the driver will be held liable. It’s more of an unrealistic expectation of a pedestrian that a crosswalk has a magical forcefield like effect against cars (they don’t, by the way). So pedestrians take risks thinking they are automatically protected, which they may be legally, but not physically. Thus the increase.

    As to the slip and fall statement made by earned911, we have the people that retain lawyers to thank for this. Lawyers just facilitate our client’s requests, if possible, by using the current law to their advantage. If you don’t like the results, change the laws that allow someone to recover in a situation like this.

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