Tesla and Ford Make Tin Cupping It Look Easy

posted in: Online Around the Net | 1

Ford Motor Co., the only U.S. automaker not receiving emergency federal loans, will get $5.9 billion in government financing to accelerate production of fuel-efficient cars. Ford will be among the first recipients of the loans in a $25 billion Energy Department program to promote production of the vehicles with improved fuel economy, the agency said today in a statement. Nissan Motor Co. will get $1.6 billion, and San Carlos-based Tesla Motors Inc., maker of the all-electric Roadster, received approval for $465 million.

Really? Tesla gets $465 million. The company that has yet to turn a profit and if you read my previous interview with Joe Powers from Tesla, you’ll find they scantly have a car guy to help them achieve it. Apparently, the only thing you need to succeed in getting money these days is a good PR agency because that’s all Tesla has been good at, hype. I’m not saying the cars are bad but they didn’t even know they were selling them at a loss! That’s like the basic principal to business plans and investment.

Overheard during the government/Tesla meetings:

Government: “Are you profitable?”

Telsa: “Well, no.”

“Do you know when you are going to be profitable?”

“Ah, no. Our management didn’t know crap so we priced the cars $20K under where they needed to be.”

“Are there any real car guys on your team?”

“No, we’ve built it up on smarty pants from Silicon Valley who have a dream.”

“Have you tried spreading yourself too thin by expanding the line?”

“Why yes! We’re launching a sedan because we can’t quite get the roadster off the ground.”

“Perfect. Can I loan you guys… I don’t know… say half a billion?”

  1. jtw

    Quit your whining and start your own car company–then you can get some federal bounty of your own. Oh, but not until (1) you’ve proven that your business model doesn’t work and (2) you’re hopelessly in debt. No time to waste–you’ve only got a three year window before the red white and blue money tree stops bearing fruit (hopefully).

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