How to Spot a Craigslist Jackass

posted in: Online Around the Net | 0

Here was my latest Craigslist time suck. 

“1.7 Ltr, Fuel Injection, Black on Black. Body straight, Bumpers recromed, paint good. Heads reconditioned, new exhaust, Riviera rims. Restoration near completion. Interior still needs some work. There is no major rust. Also, have new luggage rack(rare)along with many spare parts from other 914 projects. Too many to list.

This penny will shine up for minimal investment. $1900 AS IS.”   (pictures are actual size)

Ray, the guy who placed this ad, was a jackass.  The ad originally said $3500 but he dropped the price.  On the phone he told me that because of a workers comp claim that put him out of a job, he needed money.  Sounded like a swoop-up opportunity for Duff Man… or buff man.  It’s either a lot of beer or a lot of polish that was going to be needed shine this turd but at this point I wasn’t sure which. 

The car looks good in the pictures, no?  $3500 is the going rate for a decent 1.7 liter.  It was a piece of shit.  It was under cover and for good reason.  Two flat tires, duck taped interior, steering column apart, no keys, paint that had been sanded through to bare metal in several spots to “get it ready for paint,” it goes on and on.  Rusty chrome, bumper trim missing, turn signals missing.  Oh, but he had all those parts and plenty more to give me with the car.  I walked away as fast as I could so pissed that he wasted my f–king time.   3 hours total.  Read the ad again and tell me what you would expect?

I should have known the car was going to be crap because before we walked over to it, he showed me his other beautiful project car.  A 914 that he had been working on for 10 years.  He had a premonition that he was going to get into another accident.  So he reinforced this car with steel beams in the doors, front and rear trunks.  Then he took fiberglass and put two layers under the hood and in the doors.  He must of added 300 pounds to the car.  He was all proud of the paint job.  It looks like thick house paint  over a teenage acne face.  Awful.  Forgot the beer, bring me shots to make either look worthy. 

So what was his giveaway that should have kept me home?   Before driving down, he asked me what my expectations were regarding the car.  Followed by, “he could have it painted before I made it down by his good buddy who has done paint his entire life… for a few hundred more.”  The guy who paints was actually there.  He said he could do it for $150 bucks.  Really???  Can you even buy the paint for that amount? 

See ya.  

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