The force is strong with this one, Stephen Cobert. He recently picked up the story that scientists with “equipment connected to a house sized sphere can focus 192 laser beams on a small point, generating temperatures and pressures that exist at the core of stars or giant planets.”
|The Colbert Report||Mon – Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c|
|We Have a Death Star!|
This of course got me thinking… Death Star… Star Wars… Hans Solo… Millennium Falcon… best car scenes ever. Yeah, I said it. Empire Strikes Back has one of the all time greatest chase scenes ever. So what that it takes place in space. It starts with one of the all time classic lines from Leia. Remember inside the ice cave? Running up to the car (ah, ship), laser blasts everywhere, a fist pound on the dash to make sure things get running then:
“This bucket of bolts is never going to get us out of here.” Leia.
“This thing still got a few tricks left in her sweetheart….” Hans.
…Would it help if I got out and pushed? Leia.
That baby takes off right in front of a clearly pissed off Darth Vader. Is Darth worried? Not really he’s got the entire Imperial fleet waiting right around the corner… of the planet. Is Hans sweating it? Come on! He’s got the fastest hunk of junk in the galaxy. Just a few coordinates in the ol’ navvy and… wha, wha, wha, the fan belt broke on the supercharger. But slam the throttle, turn the wheel and:
“We can still out maneuver them.”
Spoken like a guy with tremendous stones. But then, no more laser blasts, something hit them.
“You’re not actually going into the asteroid field!?” Leia exclaims.
“They’d be crazy to follow us wouldn’t they?” “…Well, you said I wanted to be around when I made a mistake, well this might be it sweetheart.”
“But sir, the odds of successfully navigating an asteroid field are 3,720 to 1.”
“Never tell me the odds.”
They slip phallically into a wet cave to live another day.